The Scientific Reason It’s So Hard to Make Friends as an Adult (and What to Do About It)
For years, the surgeon general has been warning that America is in the midst of a loneliness epidemic, and the forced physical separation of the pandemic certainly didn’t help us stay in touch. Surveys show that many Americans lost friends thanks to two years of shutdowns and restrictions, with older Americans more likely to have lost touch with friends.
Some see this as a positive change, a matter of pruning back our social lives to fewer but stronger ties. But for lots of folks the pandemic has simply been lonely. If you’ve moved into or beyond middle age, what are your prospects for growing your circle of friendships again on the other side of covid craziness?
The bad news
I’ll hit you with the bad news first. You’re not just crazy. If you get the sense that it’s way harder to make friends as an adult than it was when you were younger, you’re on to something. The difficulty isn’t that you’re uncool or awkward. It’s that the essential building blocks of friendship are harder to come by when you’re older.
“Sociologists have kind of identified the ingredients that need to be in place for us to make friends organically, and they are continuous unplanned interaction and shared vulnerability,” University of…
