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Neuroscience Research Says This 5-Second Trick Could Save You Thousands in Couples Therapy
In the U.S., struggling couples spent nearly a billion dollars on couples therapy last year. That’s a lot of cash to patch up wobbling relationships. But new research suggests couples — or even co-founders — could claw back a fair bit of the money they spent on therapy if they just adopted one simple five-second trick.
Healthy couples know how to fight right.
The research, out of the University of St. Andrews in Scotland and recently published in Communications Psychology, builds on a paradoxical truth about relationships. Not only is conflict an inevitable part of relationships, but fighting — done right — can actually be good for your partnership.
As Gary Lewandowski, a psychologist who studies relationship dynamics, has explained, “most couples need to argue more, not less.” Repressing conflicts is generally worse for your relationship’s health than getting them out in the open.
Fighting is part of a healthy relationship, but of course you also need to fight right. Legendary couples therapist John Gottman built his career on this truth, insisting that “a lasting relationship results from a couple’s ability to manage the conflicts that are inevitable in any relationship.”
